So the other day I was listening to some of my random mixed CDs and came across one I made more than 3 years ago. Grant it this CD was old, scratched and barely played any songs, but one song in particular pulled through and presented itself to me. Right now as you can tell with the books I'm reading I'm all about self manifestation and believing things happen for a reason. I believe I decided to listen to this random mixed CD for a reason. A R&B song called "Complicated" started to play and I was about to change the song to see what else was on the old thing but decided to let the song continue. As soon as it started to play I immediately remembered how the song went. It's a great song about a girl who is unsure about whether she is ready to be in a relationship or to be in love. As I sang along to the lyrics, I started to choke up on the hook of the song. It goes: "I can't say I'm not impressed with you....I'm not ready to invest...I can't say I'm not the girl for you...I just might not be her yet." I guess it's called the hook for a reason because it totally hooked a very strong emotion in my mind. I've obviously heard this song many times before but hearing it now helped me come to a very crazy realization. I've never in my entire life related to this song at all. One particular word that struck me in the hook was the word "invest." What a random word to be in an R&B song, a love song for that matter. I mean the word "invest" evokes business terms, seriousness and careful planning. A word I've haven't really thought of paring with love. I mean if anything I was too invested in finding love outside of myself instead of investing finding love within me. This was a major light bulb moment. I decided from that day forward after crying while listening to the song and repeating it over and over, I would treat love for myself and also finding love as an investment, but in the right way. Such as careful planning, smart moves, and patience.
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