Slipping.

Sometimes we slip up. Today I've been thinking about waaay too many things I shouldn't be thinking about lately.  I've been thinking about all the things I don't have and the only thing I don't have is someone to love or get to know other than myself.  I know, I know, I have better things to worry about but sometimes I can't help but think like damn, I deserve at least a good date or two.  Anyway, I'm trying my best to let things like that come to me because I know all too well when I'm the chaser it's just ends in rejection.  I have the absolute worst case of rejection issues.  It's bad because most of the time I'm searching for rejection, I invite it, text it, email it, or call it.  I for some reason accepted that getting rejected is the norm as truth.  I guess I've confused being a fool as hope.  Sometimes those lines are very blurry and I guess my excuse is that I don't care that they are sometimes.  Also I feel like I attract flakers or just people who give me empty promises, and blow smoke up my ass (is that the right term?).  I don't know why!? That's the confusing part because they say you get what you put out.  All I know is that, I'm very sincere and dependable on promises.  I don't feed people lines or things they want to hear just because I think that's what they want to hear.   But it's like my mistakes are on repeat and they keeping showing up in different people but it's all the same feeling.  All I got to say now is that I want these people to stay the hell away from me, but I must learn to stay the hell away from them first. Fortunately, now I am focusing more on staying away from rejection as much as I can and holding myself back from trying to connect with certain people.  Also I've learned the more time you focus on the things you don't want show up even more.  I'm trying to train my mind to think like that, and I think I've been successful so far.  I'm exactly where I wanna be in my life, except one thing but I guess things happen for a reason.  I wish I had something more inspiring but hey this blog is called the Ramblings of a Single Girl, so here it is.